{"id":2300,"date":"2017-10-25T18:16:23","date_gmt":"2017-10-25T16:16:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/?p=2300"},"modified":"2017-10-25T18:16:23","modified_gmt":"2017-10-25T16:16:23","slug":"cauchemar-en-salle-de-bain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2017\/10\/25\/cauchemar-en-salle-de-bain\/","title":{"rendered":"Cauchemar en salle de bain"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>D\u00e9but mai 2016, je regardai avec horreur notre salle de bain et d\u00e9cidai de la rafra\u00eechir. Une salle de bain avec une vieille chaudi\u00e8re \u00e0 gaz fatigu\u00e9e, l’affreux tuyau PVC d’\u00e9vacuation des WC de l’\u00e9tage contre le mur, des carrelages diff\u00e9rents et moches aux murs, un meuble bancal et pour couronner le tout un plafond en lambris.<\/p>\n

La chaudi\u00e8re nous oblige \u00e0 une a\u00e9ration de 20 cm de diam\u00e8tre vers l’ext\u00e9rieur, et en Alsace, \u00e7a caille l’hiver. Imaginez prendre une douche le matin, dans une pi\u00e8ce \u00e0 10\u00b0C, (convecteur \u00e0 fond). Non n’imaginez pas c’est mieux.<\/p>\n

Un jour de col\u00e8re j’arrachai le papier peint miteux, bien d\u00e9cid\u00e9 \u00e0 refaire cette pi\u00e8ce sordide. Quelques jours plus tard, j’\u00e9tais hospitalis\u00e9 et arr\u00eat\u00e9 pour cinq mois avec d\u00e9fense de faire le moindre effort. La salle de bain aussi.<\/p>\n

Apr\u00e8s cette longue parenth\u00e8se nous nous lan\u00e7\u00e2mes dans les devis pour poser une chaudi\u00e8re \u00e0 ventouse dans une autre pi\u00e8ce, un WC suspendu et une douche italienne. La douche impliquait de casser une cloison, poser du carrelage et pour faire propre, il fallait refaire les murs. Co\u00fbt global du chantier 20 000 \u20ac, heu comment dire ? Je m’ach\u00e8te 4 Nikon D5 avec \u00e7a…<\/p>\n

Il faillait revoir le projet \u00e0 la baisse. Sortir la chaudi\u00e8re de la pi\u00e8ce impliquait de passer des tuyaux, donc de casser le plafond en lambris, donc de casser la cloison intelligemment fix\u00e9e sur le lambris, donc casser la douche coll\u00e9e \u00e0 la cloison donc 20 000 \u20ac. Nous tournions en rond.<\/p>\n

La chaudi\u00e8re resterait dans la salle de bain. Mais si elle restait, le trou de 20 cm \u00e9galement et les 10\u00b0C matinaux aussi. Nous tournions en rond.<\/p>\n

Un chauffagiste nous proposa la chaudi\u00e8re \u00e0 ventouse qui se branche sur la chemin\u00e9e avec un double tubage, cher mais plus besoin de d\u00e9placer la chaudi\u00e8re. Nous avancions. Il sortit dehors regarder la chemin\u00e9e et nous annon\u00e7a qu’aucun ouvrier n’accepterait de faire le tubage de la chemin\u00e9e. Nous revenions au point de d\u00e9part.<\/p>\n

Ma femme commen\u00e7a \u00e0 devenir folle. Une salle de bain horrible, un \u00e9poux pas encore en \u00e9tat de se lancer dans de gros travaux, et une salle de bain abominable. Chaque jour elle me harcelait :\u00a0 \u00ab\u00a0Et cette salle de bain alors ? Tu te d\u00e9cides ?\u00a0\u00bb.<\/p>\n

A sa demande, un nouveau chauffagiste vint faire un devis de chaudi\u00e8re \u00e0 ventouse reli\u00e9e \u00e0 la chemin\u00e9e, cette fois sans r\u00e9serve sur la hauteur. Mais j’h\u00e9sitais. Comment passer le c\u00e2blage de la sonde sans une goulotte ou casser le plafond qui casserait la cloison qui casserait la douche, comment cacher la chaudi\u00e8re, objet moche par excellence, comment poser le WC suspendu et cacher le tuyau PVC gris, comment comment ? Si seulement j’avais pu casser ce maudit plafond, mais v\u00e9rification apr\u00e8s v\u00e9rification, il \u00e9tait maintenant certain que le machin en lambris portait la cloison.<\/p>\n

Mon \u00e9pouse fit le forcing, rappelant le chauffagiste pour nous aider \u00e0 trouver des solutions (ou me forcer la main). La sonde, il la passera dans le plafond sans le casser, la chaudi\u00e8re peut \u00eatre cach\u00e9e derri\u00e8re des portes de placard, il sort dehors pour regarder une nouvelle fois la chemin\u00e9e, \u00ab\u00a0Elle est haute quand m\u00eame, impossible de venir avec nacelle, \u00e7a va \u00eatre compliqu\u00e9\u00a0\u00bb, j’ai cru que ma femme allait le tuer. Mais non, le mec se dit pr\u00eat a faire le chantier avant d\u00e9cembre alors nous signons.<\/p>\n

Dans quelques jours, le chauffagiste va installer la nouvelle chaudi\u00e8re. S’il ne se tue pas en tombant la chemin\u00e9e (20 m de hauteur quand m\u00eame), si celle-ci ne s’\u00e9croule pas sur le toit, s’il n’explose pas le plafond et donc la cloison et donc la douche,\u00a0 je serai face au mur, oblig\u00e9 de commencer les travaux de la salle de bain. Poser un WC suspendu, l\u2019entourer de placo pour cacher le tuyaux en PVC gris, poser deux portes coulissantes pour masquer la chaudi\u00e8re, poser du placo sur le plafond pour cacher ce lambris si moche, poser un sol plastique genre ardoises pour cacher le carrelage vraiment trop moche.<\/p>\n

Pourquoi ai-je sign\u00e9 ? 6000 \u20ac… Nous aurions pu rester encore quelques ann\u00e9es heureux avec notre salle de bain sans papier peint, son joli tuyaux PVC gris, son carrelage d\u00e9pareill\u00e9, son d\u00e9licieux plafond en lambris, son trou de 20 cm qui souffle de l’air glac\u00e9 et l’\u00e9clairage LED qui vous aveugle le matin. Ou alors, signer le ch\u00e8que de 20 000 \u20ac et regarder les mecs bosser en critiquant chaque d\u00e9tail.<\/p>\n

A la place, je suis dans le hall d’entr\u00e9e, l\u00e0 o\u00f9 aurait du prendre place la chaudi\u00e8re \u00e0 ventouse, de l’autre c\u00f4t\u00e9 de la cloison qu’il aurait fallu d\u00e9truire, le chantier \u00e0 20 000 \u20ac. Oui parce que maintenant que cette partie l\u00e0 de la maison ne sera plus impact\u00e9e par la salle de bain, ma femme trouve que ce serait bien de la rafra\u00eechir cette pi\u00e8ce. D\u00e9collage de papier peint, lissage, peinture, je d\u00e9teste le bricolage, je d\u00e9teste les vacances, mais j’aime ma femme…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

D\u00e9but mai 2016, je regardai avec horreur notre salle de bain et d\u00e9cidai de la rafra\u00eechir. 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