{"id":4468,"date":"2018-11-10T09:12:20","date_gmt":"2018-11-10T08:12:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/?p=4468"},"modified":"2018-11-10T09:12:20","modified_gmt":"2018-11-10T08:12:20","slug":"le-chat-a-fait-caca","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2018\/11\/10\/le-chat-a-fait-caca\/","title":{"rendered":"Le chat a fait caca"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Pourquoi ne publie-t-on que des vid\u00e9os de chatons trognons ? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pourquoi ne pas enfin montrer la v\u00e9rit\u00e9, celle d\u2019un gros chat moche en train de pourrir sa caisse dans la cuisine pendant le repas ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L\u2019hiver est l\u00e0 dirait John Snow. La neige a saupoudr\u00e9 l\u2019Auvergne et notre chatoune de dix kilos ne sort plus dehors se pr\u00e9lasser au soleil. Il fait trop froid. Elle dort contre le radiateur, squatte les couvertures et n\u2019ouvre un \u0153il que pour les croquettes du matin et la p\u00e2t\u00e9e du soir. Deux repas frugaux par jour, beaucoup de miaulements de frustration, la grosse est au r\u00e9gime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Comme elle ne sort plus, il lui faut de nouveau utiliser la luxueuse caisse avec trappe et filtre (trappe anti odeur que l\u2019on a d\u00fb enlever car elle lui faisait peur) situ\u00e9e dans notre cuisine, pi\u00e8ce qui fait \u00e9galement office de salle \u00e0 manger car nous sommes pauvres (tout juste si on ne dort pas avec nos animaux).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Comme il se doit, un chat a besoin d\u2019un public pour se soulager et quel meilleur moment dans la journ\u00e9e que le petit d\u00e9jeuner et le repas du soir pour vider sa vessie et ses intestins, je vous le demande ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Notre chatoune, bien \u00e9duqu\u00e9e par sa maman, gratte bien, de ses petites papattes griffues, sur le fond de la caisse, mais, comme elle est tr\u00e8s conne, elle n’a pas compris l\u2019int\u00e9r\u00eat du geste, elle le fait par habitude. Elle ne recouvre jamais ses \u00e9trons fumants. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Si vous l\u2019ignorez encore et que vous envisagez d’adopter prochainement un de ces ravissants f\u00e9lins, sachez que les excr\u00e9ments de chats empestent tout particuli\u00e8rement, un peu comme un jour de gastro ou de coloscopie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A partir de l\u00e0 imaginez vous, t\u00f4t le matin, pas franchement r\u00e9veill\u00e9, devant votre bol de c\u00e9r\u00e9ales, encore un peu naus\u00e9eux du r\u00e9veil, assister \u00e0 la danse du ventre du chat rentrant dans sa caisse, prenant une position caract\u00e9ristique de la d\u00e9pose solide, jusqu\u2019\u00e0 l\u2019instant fatidique du floc floc suivi des \u00e9manations pestilentielles qui se m\u00ealent au parfum vanille cannelle banane qui remonte de votre bol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Branle bas de combat, votre mission m\u00eame si vous ne l\u2019acceptez pas, est de plonger en apn\u00e9e jusqu\u2019\u00e0 la porte, l\u2019ouvrir en grand, inspirer une goul\u00e9e d\u2019air glacial venant de dehors, revenir vers la caisse, la prendre \u00e0 deux mains, sans rien renverser, tr\u00e8s important de ne rien renverser, sinon vous \u00eatre dans la merde,  et courir dehors pour \u00e9vacuer son fumet d\u00e9licat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Par chance, il existe une seconde option mesquine. Celle de partir au travail pr\u00e9cipitamment, sans d\u00e9jeuner, laissant la caisse fumante au prochain qui descendra manger.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Si vous l\u2019ignorez encore et que vous envisagez d’adopter prochainement un de ces ravissants f\u00e9lins, sachez que les excr\u00e9ments de chats empestent tout particuli\u00e8rement, un peu comme un jour de gastro ou de coloscopie. Continuer la lecture →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4469,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[59],"tags":[1108,739,283,780,1109,1110],"class_list":["post-4468","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humeur","tag-caca","tag-caisse","tag-chat","tag-hiver","tag-puanteur","tag-regime","post_format-post-format-image"],"yoast_head":"\nLe chat a fait caca - Le Blog du N\u00e9oprog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2018\/11\/10\/le-chat-a-fait-caca\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Le chat a fait caca - Le Blog du N\u00e9oprog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Si vous l\u2019ignorez encore et que vous envisagez d'adopter prochainement un de ces ravissants f\u00e9lins, sachez que les excr\u00e9ments de chats empestent tout particuli\u00e8rement, un peu comme un jour de gastro ou de coloscopie. 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