{"id":4175,"date":"2018-08-18T08:06:43","date_gmt":"2018-08-18T06:06:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/?p=4175"},"modified":"2018-08-18T08:06:50","modified_gmt":"2018-08-18T06:06:50","slug":"songe-dune-nuit-dete","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2018\/08\/18\/songe-dune-nuit-dete\/","title":{"rendered":"Songe d’une nuit d’\u00e9t\u00e9"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Ah l’\u00e9t\u00e9, ses douces soir\u00e9es, ses ap\u00e9ritifs en terrasse, ses jeux dans la piscine, quel bonheur !<\/p>\n

Le mercure grimpe, les jupes se raccourcissent, les cigales chantent, bient\u00f4t il faudra fermer les volets tant le soleil br\u00fble la peau.<\/p>\n

La chaleur peine \u00e0 baisser la nuit. Pour dormir sans suffoquer dans une chambre \u00e0 plus de 28\u00b0, une seule issue, ouvrir la fen\u00eatre, cette belle fen\u00eatre double vitrage qui nous prot\u00e8ge l’hiver du froid mais \u00e9galement des nuisances sonores:\u00a0 du bruit de la rue, des voitures qui circulent, du bruit des voisins, qui discutent dans la cour juste en dessous de chez vous.<\/p>\n

Vingt trois heures, je suis \u00e9puis\u00e9 apr\u00e8s plusieurs jours de canicule, le travail m’attend demain matin \u00e0 six heures, il est urgent de dormir, mon corps le r\u00e9clame.<\/p>\n

Ils sont assis dans la cour, t\u00e9l\u00e9phone portable en main, tenant d’interminables conversations haut parleur r\u00e9gl\u00e9 au maximum avec des interlocuteurs qui hurlent de rire. Ils sont heureux, pas moi.<\/p>\n

Il faut chaud, les bi\u00e8res rafra\u00eechissent, d\u00e9sinhibent, d\u00e9lient les langues. La t\u00e9l\u00e9vision hurle une \u00e9mission t\u00e9l\u00e9 r\u00e9alit\u00e9 d\u00e9bile que personne ne regarde, mais la fen\u00eatre reste ouverte pour a\u00e9rer la maison. Le chien, gentillement couch\u00e9 pr\u00e8s de ses ma\u00eetres imbib\u00e9s, se l\u00e8ve soudain et se met \u00e0 aboyer comme un d\u00e9ment: un compagnon canid\u00e9 passe dans la rue, \u00e0 quelques m\u00e8tre de l\u00e0. Apr\u00e8s quelques minutes de tintamarre, c’est aux propri\u00e9taires, d\u00e9rang\u00e9s par leur cabot, de hurler sur l’animal pour qu’il se calme. Il est minuit, l’heure du crime…<\/p>\n

Un jardin plus loin, la piscine r\u00e9cemment creus\u00e9e, est inaugur\u00e9e par la famille et leurs amis. Plouffff ! Rires, cris, l’eau est fra\u00eeche, la nuit est chaude, cela fait du bien de s’y baigner.<\/p>\n

Impossible de fermer la fen\u00eatre, il fait trop chaud. Je r\u00eave du \u00eele d\u00e9serte, de meurtre, de climatisation, d’Islande, de lance roquette, de calotte polaire, de vengeance, de sorbet au citron, de fusil \u00e0 pompe et d’une douche glac\u00e9e. J’imagine que je vais me lever, descendre dans le jardin et hurler sur mes voisins pour qu’ils se taisent, pour qu’ils musellent ce chien, pour qu’ils vident la piscine. Mais j’ai trop chaud, comme eux sans doute, eux qui ne travaillent pas demain matin et qui se moquent de savoir si je dors ou pas. En plus je leur ai d\u00e9j\u00e0 expliqu\u00e9 gentiment plusieurs fois qu’ils nous pourrissaient les nuit.<\/p>\n

J’ai envie de sortir mes enceintes colonnes sur la terrasse et v\u00e9rifier jusqu’\u00e0 quelle puissance l’amplificateur est capable de restituer la Polyfonie X de Pierre Boulez sans percer les tympans du public. Des scooters passent en p\u00e9taradant dans le rue, le chien se remet \u00e0 hurler, les proprios suivent avec un temps de retard, les gamins crient dans la piscine, il est deux heures du matin, je me l\u00e8ve dans quatre heures, tout va bien.<\/p>\n

D\u00e9sesp\u00e9r\u00e9, je ferme la fen\u00eatre, mets des bouchons d’oreilles, \u00e9crase ma t\u00eate sous l’oreiller et tente de trouver le sommeil sur un matelas tremp\u00e9 par la transpiration. Les bruits \u00e9touff\u00e9s de mes voisins m’obs\u00e8dent, je n’entends plus que \u00e7a. D\u00e8s que le sommeil vient, un aboiement me r\u00e9veille. Il est trois heures du matin, la chambre ressemble \u00e0 un sauna, j’ouvre \u00e0 nouveau la fen\u00eatre. Pour faire bonne mesure, le chien hurle \u00e0 nouveau en r\u00e9action \u00e0 un r\u00f4t sonore accompagnant le bruit d’une canette de bi\u00e8re \u00e9cras\u00e9e.<\/p>\n

Mes voisins sont fin ivres, ils comatent dans le jardin, la t\u00e9l\u00e9vision hurle toujours des clips de rap et de hip hop par le fen\u00eatre ouverte. Plus personne ne nage dans la piscine et le chien roupille pr\u00e8s des derni\u00e8res gouttes de bi\u00e8res coulant de la bouteille cass\u00e9e. Il est quatre heure, je vais pouvoir enfin fermer les yeux et m\u2019endormir. Dans deux heures le soleil se l\u00e8ve.<\/p>\n

Et je r\u00eave. Je r\u00eave du Catalogue de la Manufacture des Armes de Saint Etienne. Je tourne les pages avec d\u00e9lectation, je choisis un fusil, des cartouches. Je commande et re\u00e7ois aussit\u00f4t le pr\u00e9cieux colis. Je d\u00e9balle le paquet et admire l’arme bien graiss\u00e9e. De la fen\u00eatre ouverte de ma chambre, je charge l’arme, \u00e9paule et tire. Pan ! Dans une canette de bi\u00e8re, la balle perce de part en part le cylindre m\u00e9tallique qui vole dans les air. Surpris dans son sommeil le chien sursaute et se met \u00e0 aboyer comme un d\u00e9rat\u00e9. Pan ! Dans la m\u00e2choire du cl\u00e9bard. Ses crocs explosent, sa langue se d\u00e9tache, du sang gicle sur le sol. La b\u00eate est encore vivante mais ne peut plus gueuler. R\u00e9veill\u00e9 brutalement par les deux tirs, son ma\u00eetre sort p\u00e9niblement du coma \u00e9thylique et se redresse. Pan ! Une balle entre les deux yeux du con qui dormait. La cervelle gicle sur le mur. Les yeux \u00e9carquill\u00e9s il me regarde effray\u00e9 avant de s’\u00e9crouler. \u00ab\u00a0Bonsoir, dormez bien.\u00a0\u00bb. Une flaque de sang toute fra\u00eeche coule dans la cour de mes voisins, l’odeur de poudre enivre mes sens, il faut vraiment que je m’offre une arme automatique, \u00e7a doit se vendre au march\u00e9 noir. J’irai flinguer ces petits abrutis \u00e0 scooter avant d’aller me coucher et je lancerai une grenade au milieu de la piscine \u00e0 l’heure de la baignade.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Rien de tel que de beaux r\u00eaves pour passer une nuit paisible. Bon il faudra quand m\u00eame que je consulte cette fois, \u00e7a devient grave.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ah l’\u00e9t\u00e9, ses douces soir\u00e9es, ses ap\u00e9ritifs en terrasse, ses jeux dans la piscine, quel bonheur ! Le mercure grimpe, les jupes se raccourcissent, les cigales chantent, bient\u00f4t il faudra fermer les volets tant le soleil br\u00fble la peau. La … Continuer la lecture →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4186,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[59,966],"tags":[1056,405,999,1054,1058,1057,1055,183],"class_list":["post-4175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humeur","category-jardin","tag-canicule","tag-chien","tag-ete","tag-fusil","tag-piscine","tag-scooter","tag-songe","tag-voisins","post_format-post-format-image"],"yoast_head":"\nSonge d'une nuit d'\u00e9t\u00e9 - Le Blog du N\u00e9oprog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2018\/08\/18\/songe-dune-nuit-dete\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Songe d'une nuit d'\u00e9t\u00e9 - Le Blog du N\u00e9oprog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ah l’\u00e9t\u00e9, ses douces soir\u00e9es, ses ap\u00e9ritifs en terrasse, ses jeux dans la piscine, quel bonheur ! Le mercure grimpe, les jupes se raccourcissent, les cigales chantent, bient\u00f4t il faudra fermer les volets tant le soleil br\u00fble la peau. 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