{"id":4892,"date":"2019-03-21T07:45:18","date_gmt":"2019-03-21T06:45:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/?p=4892"},"modified":"2019-03-21T07:45:18","modified_gmt":"2019-03-21T06:45:18","slug":"rencontres","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2019\/03\/21\/rencontres\/","title":{"rendered":"Rencontres"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Mon interface neurale d\u2019association visage\/pr\u00e9nom est d\u00e9fectueuse et croyez-moi, c\u2019est un s\u00e9rieux handicap dans la vie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u00eame des personnes que je croise r\u00e9guli\u00e8rement peuvent perdre leur identit\u00e9 en peu de temps. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imaginez moi criant \u00ab\u00a0oh Jos\u00e9phine\u00a0\u00bb dans un moment d\u2019intimit\u00e9 avec mon \u00e9pouse Isabelle. Oui ce serait embarrassant, mais l\u00e0, il se peut que le probl\u00e8me soit ailleurs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dans la vraie vie, j\u2019ai du mal a mettre un pr\u00e9nom sur un visage et inversement. Alors quand il s\u2019agit de rencontres IRL, tout devient plus compliqu\u00e9. Tant que l\u2019on en reste \u00e0 des \u00e9changes sans importance, tant que le pseudo ne change pas ou que l\u2019image de profil reste constante, je m\u2019en sors honorablement. Mais d\u00e8s qu\u2019un changement survient, c\u2019est la panique. Qui est-ce, un lecteur, un musicien, un promoteur, un contact, un ami ? Les malentendus sont l\u00e9gion et parfois embarrassants. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Le cauchemar absolu c\u2019est lorsque l\u2019\u00e9change virtuel se concr\u00e9tise dans le monde r\u00e9el, vous savez, les sites de plan c…, je veux dire de rencontre. Enfin bref, lorsqu\u2019une personne avec qui j\u2019ai \u00e9chang\u00e9 des mois durant sur Facebook se retrouve face \u00e0 moi, c\u2019est le drame. Si le visage me dit quelque chose, je ne situe plus la personne, son occupation, le lien qui nous uni, et bien entendu son pr\u00e9nom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Donc je fais le mort. Je ne vais pas vers les gens. J\u2019attends qu\u2019ils fassent le premier pas. C\u2019est d\u2019ailleurs ce que j\u2019ai toujours fait avec les filles, mais \u00e7a c\u2019\u00e9tait pour \u00e9viter les r\u00e2teaux.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quand j\u2019arrive \u00e0 un concert, c\u2019est souvent le drame. Dans la queue y a des personnes qui me disent bonjour. Alors je dis \u00ab\u00a0salut\u00a0\u00bb. Mais bien souvent je ne sais absolument pas de qui il s\u2019agit. Je vous assure je ne fais pas le fier, je ne suis pas une star non plus avec 10000 fans, j\u2019ai juste un probl\u00e8me d\u2019interface neurale. Il y a bien des bouilles que je remets \u00e0 force, mais les pr\u00e9noms, quelle chianlie ! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bref je ne fais le mort. Si la personne me reconnait, et qu\u2019elle d\u00e9sire me parler, commence alors un \u00e9trange man\u00e8ge :<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monsieur X – \u2018Salut JC\u2019. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oups, c\u2019est qui l\u00e0 ? Il a une gratte en main, \u00e7a doit \u00eatre un zicos.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moi – \u2018Heu salut\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monsieur X – \u2018C\u2019\u00e9tait cool ton article l\u00e0 sur nous\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Merde, c\u2019est qui nous ?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moi – \u2018Ben c\u2019est sympa ce que vous faites aussi\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monsieur X – \u2018J\u2019esp\u00e8re que tu vas aimer ce soir\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bon y a deux groupes ce soir, trois guitaristes, c\u2019est bien une guitare ? Te mouille pas trop.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moi – \u2018Je suis certain que \u00e7a va \u00eatre super, vous jouez en premier ?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monsieur X – \u2018Oui, comme \u00e7a on sera moins crev\u00e9 \u2018<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ha j\u2019approche. Ils ont deux guitaristes les toulousains.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moi – \u2018Ben oui avec la route c\u2019est fatiguant\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monsieur X – \u2018Oui enfin on a 30 km \u00e0 faire, c\u2019est pas la mort\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Putain, c\u2019est le groupe local, ils ont invers\u00e9 la programmation les cons !<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moi – \u2018Oui bon mais quand m\u00eame\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00e7a y est je vois le groupe, maintenant c\u2019est quoi son pr\u00e9nom, David, Donald, Darwin, \u00e7a doit \u00eatre David, on a jamais vu un alsacien s\u2019appeler Donal ou Darwin s\u00e9rieusement. Reste prudent quand m\u00eame..<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monsieur X – \u2018Au fait, tu n\u2019as pas vu David ?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rhooo putain !<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moi – \u2018Heu non, pas encore…\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monsieur X – \u2018Faut que je lui file sa guitare\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Putain c\u2019est qui lui ?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monsieur X – \u2018Bon je te laisse JC, faut que je trouve \u00e0 tout de suite\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Oui \u00e0 toutes\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Putain putain putain, mais quelle buse !<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Voila, vous savez tout maintenant. Mais pas la peine de me faire le coup du \u00ab\u00a0coucou ch\u00e9ri\u00a0\u00bb en me sautant dans les bras, car je reconnais les hommes des femmes, enfin le plus souvent, et mon \u00e9pouse, apr\u00e8s 26 ans de mariage, je sais \u00e0 quoi elle ressemble.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dans la vraie vie, j\u2019ai du mal a mettre un pr\u00e9nom sur un visage et inversement. Alors quand il s\u2019agit de rencontres IRL, tout devient plus compliqu\u00e9. Continuer la lecture →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4893,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,3],"tags":[1050,250,1257,1256,393,1258],"class_list":["post-4892","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-internet","category-musique","tag-amis","tag-internet","tag-memoire","tag-prenom","tag-rencontre","tag-visage","post_format-post-format-image"],"yoast_head":"\nRencontres - Le Blog du N\u00e9oprog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2019\/03\/21\/rencontres\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Rencontres - Le Blog du N\u00e9oprog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dans la vraie vie, j\u2019ai du mal a mettre un pr\u00e9nom sur un visage et inversement. 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