{"id":5831,"date":"2020-02-26T07:11:46","date_gmt":"2020-02-26T06:11:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/?p=5831"},"modified":"2020-02-26T07:11:46","modified_gmt":"2020-02-26T06:11:46","slug":"la-poussette-electrique","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2020\/02\/26\/la-poussette-electrique\/","title":{"rendered":"La poussette \u00e9lectrique"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"960\" height=\"364\" src=\"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/atomic-bomb-966008_960_720.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5832\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/atomic-bomb-966008_960_720.jpg 960w, https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/atomic-bomb-966008_960_720-300x114.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/atomic-bomb-966008_960_720-768x291.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/atomic-bomb-966008_960_720-500x190.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 960px) 100vw, 960px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Au commencement Dieu cr\u00e9a le rasoir \u00e9lectrique Philips car l\u2019homme devait chaque jour couper sa barbe avec une lame et de la mousse alors qu\u2019il aurait pu la sectionner avec une machine vibrante. Dieu vit que l\u2019homme \u00e9tait ras\u00e9 de pr\u00e8s et s\u2019en r\u00e9jouit.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dieu r\u00e9compensa la femme le deuxi\u00e8me jour avec un couteau \u00e9lectrique Moulinex pour la f\u00eate des m\u00e8res. EDF se r\u00e9jouit du pic de consommation d\u2019\u00e9nergie pour d\u00e9couper la brioche et le gigot du dimanche midi.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Le troisi\u00e8me jour, Dieu cr\u00e9a le v\u00e9lo \u00e9lectrique car il avait fait croitre des montagnes sur la Terre et que Poulidor finissait toujours deuxi\u00e8me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Le quatri\u00e8me jour, pour ne l\u00e9ser personne, Dieu offrit aux enfants les trottinettes \u00e9lectriques et remplit enfin les belles salles d\u2019attente des urgences.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Le cinqui\u00e8me jour, Dieu creusa la Terre pour y puiser les derni\u00e8res gouttes de p\u00e9trole afin que les voitures puissent encore rouler. Dieu offrit \u00e9galement le vibromasseur \u00e9lectrique \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9pouse d\u00e9laiss\u00e9e par son \u00e9poux qui roulait dans son bolide.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Le sixi\u00e8me jour, en panne s\u00e8che, Dieu convertit tous les constructeurs automobiles au moteur \u00e9lectrique et le monde fut beau et propre.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Le septi\u00e8me jour, assis pr\u00e8s de Fukushima, les pied dans l\u2019eau radioactive, Dieu s\u2019ennuyait. Il vit passer une petite fille malade tra\u00eenant une poussette cass\u00e9e dans laquelle dormait une jolie poup\u00e9e calcin\u00e9e. Dieu r\u00e9alisa alors que le monde \u00e9tait imparfait. Alors pour parachever son oeuvre, Dieu con\u00e7u la poussette \u00e9lectrique pour que les mamans ne peinent plus en promenant leurs enfants leuc\u00e9miques dans les for\u00eats de Tchernobyl.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Et le monde fut enfin parfait.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Au commencement dieu cr\u00e9a le rasoir \u00e9lectrique Philips car l\u2019homme devait chaque jour couper sa barbe. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2020\/02\/26\/la-poussette-electrique\/\">Continuer la lecture <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5832,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[298,59,297,20,610],"tags":[1540,382,341,1539,1538,100],"class_list":["post-5831","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-climat","category-humeur","category-planete","category-politique","category-science","tag-dieu","tag-ecologie","tag-electricite","tag-energie-nucleaire","tag-poussette","tag-velo","post_format-post-format-image"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>La poussette \u00e9lectrique - Le Blog du N\u00e9oprog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2020\/02\/26\/la-poussette-electrique\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"La poussette \u00e9lectrique - Le Blog du N\u00e9oprog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Au commencement dieu cr\u00e9a le rasoir \u00e9lectrique Philips car l\u2019homme devait chaque jour couper sa barbe. 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