{"id":6774,"date":"2021-03-26T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-03-26T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/?p=6774"},"modified":"2021-03-25T18:24:28","modified_gmt":"2021-03-25T17:24:28","slug":"les-courses-sans-sacs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2021\/03\/26\/les-courses-sans-sacs\/","title":{"rendered":"Les courses sans sacs"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Depuis le premier confinement, je fais mes courses au drive d’Auchan. Cela m’\u00e9vite de trainer dans les rayons des supermarch\u00e9s, de toucher les marchandises, de me faire bousculer par une m\u00e9m\u00e8re voulant mes p\u00e2tes et de me faire \u00e9ternuer dessus par le caissier. Bref je psychote un peu dans les magasins, alors qu’aux derni\u00e8res nouvelles, d’apr\u00e8s mon m\u00e9decin, j’aurai contract\u00e9 le virus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bref. Pour faire les courses au drive, \u00e0 l’am\u00e9ricaine, il faut une grosse voiture d\u00e9capotable rouge, laisser le moteur allum\u00e9 et \u00e9couter les Bee Gees \u00e0fond. L\u00e0 j’ai tout faux, j’y vais avec la 2008, de toute fa\u00e7on nous n’avons qu’une voiture, j’\u00e9coute France Inter et je coupe le moteur. Avec mon masque sur la figure, j’attends patiemment que ma commande arrive, un burger avec le milk shake vanille s’il vous plait, et je range les courses tout seul dans le coffre dans des cagettes sp\u00e9cialement pr\u00e9vues \u00e0 cet effet. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mais voila, ma femme m’a abandonn\u00e9. Elle est partie avec notre seule voiture, me laissant un enfant sur les bras, un chat et un frigo vide. Me quitter c’est une chose, laisser un frigo vide, \u00e7a c’est insoutenable ! Bref nous nous sommes mal organis\u00e9s avant son d\u00e9part en weekend dans le sud de la France. Oui je ne suis pas parti en weekend prolong\u00e9 avec elle, nous sommes comme \u00e7a, nous nous laissons beaucoup d’espace. En fait elle allait surtout chez ses parents. Sept-cent kilom\u00e8tres de route, une belle-m\u00e8re, un beau-p\u00e8re. Je pr\u00e9f\u00e8re matter des s\u00e9ries sur Disney+ et \u00e9couter Dark Horse White Horse \u00e0 fond tout le weekend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seulement, le frigo est vide, enfin, presque, il reste un oeuf, quatre yaourts, un petit bout d’emmental et un demi litre de lait d’\u00e9peautre. Pas de quoi tenir cinq jours \u00e0 deux, m\u00eame en allant manger des doner kebab tous les midis en face de la maison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alors j’ai fait un drive. Un drive \u00e0 Auchan, car elles livrent ces gentilles personnes, et \u00e7a c’est vraiment tr\u00e8s cool. Je fais ma liste sur Internet, cent-cinquante euros de bons yaourts, de bonbons Haribo, de lait d’\u00e9peautre, de hamburgers, de biscuits, de p\u00e2tes, de sauce tomate et de c\u00e9r\u00e9ales, de quoi pr\u00e9parer de bons repas \u00e9quilibr\u00e9s. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Le livreur arrive dans le cr\u00e9neau horaire annonc\u00e9e avec un petit chariot portant des bacs plastiques contenant ma commande. G\u00e9nial ! Je mets mon masque, ouvre la fen\u00eatre pour transvaser la marchandise, prenant mon courage \u00e0 deux mains pour porter les lourdes cagettes quand le livreur en sort un premier sac plastique noir dix litres issu du plastique recycl\u00e9, attention. Un sac, deux sacs, trois sacs, quatre sacs, cinq sacs, six sacs. \u00ab\u00a0Voici le surgel\u00e9\u00a0\u00bb me dit-il en me tendant un sac blanc. Sept sacs. Un nouveau sac noir, huit sacs, neuf sacs, dix sacs, onze sacs, douze sacs, treize sacs. Le compte en bon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J’ai treize sacs de courses ! Douze noirs et un blanc. Pour une fois que la parit\u00e9 n’est pas respect\u00e9e dans le sens usuel… Dans un sac, il y une pizza, dans l’autre deux boites de cr\u00e8me de marrons 250 grammes, dans le troisi\u00e8me quatre yaourt aux fruits\u2026 Je croyais que les sacs n’\u00e9taient plus distribu\u00e9s dans les super march\u00e9s ? Exact, mais ceci est un drive. Je contemple quelque peu \u00e9c\u0153ur\u00e9 ces treize sac dont je n’ai pas l’usage et que le prochain livreur refusera de r\u00e9cup\u00e9rer pour une nouvelle livraison.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mais voila, ma femme m’a abandonn\u00e9. Elle est partie avec notre seul voiture, me laissant un enfant sur les bras et un frigo vide. Continuer la lecture →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6775,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[59,34,297],"tags":[1855,424,1856,578,38,1161],"class_list":["post-6774","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humeur","category-internet","category-planete","tag-auchan","tag-courses","tag-drive","tag-emballages","tag-pollution","tag-sacs","post_format-post-format-image"],"yoast_head":"\nLes courses sans sacs - Le Blog du N\u00e9oprog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Mais voila, ma femme m'a abandonn\u00e9. 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