{"id":708,"date":"2017-03-15T16:21:55","date_gmt":"2017-03-15T15:21:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/?p=708"},"modified":"2017-03-15T16:21:55","modified_gmt":"2017-03-15T15:21:55","slug":"stargate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2017\/03\/15\/stargate\/","title":{"rendered":"Stargate"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Comme vous le savez certainement, un portail permet de passer d’un point A \u00e0 un point B de mani\u00e8re quasi instantan\u00e9e. Et selon le nombre de chevrons activ\u00e9s, vous pouvez aller plus ou moins loin, changer de plan\u00e8te, quitter la galaxie ou m\u00eame rejoindre un vaisseau fant\u00f4me aux confins de l’univers.<\/p>\n

Moi, je dispose d’un portail pour rentrer dans le parking de la copropri\u00e9t\u00e9 voisine (un seul chevron). Car oui, si je vis dans une maison alsacienne datant de Louis XIV, je dispose de deux places de parking modernes dans la cour de l’immeuble voisin qui nous fait de l’ombre.<\/p>\n

McKay vous l’expliquerait mieux que moi, un portail s’av\u00e8re un syst\u00e8me d’une rare complexit\u00e9 et sa consommation \u00e9nerg\u00e9tique n\u00e9cessite parfois un E2PZ<\/a>, c’est tout dire. La chose est fragile, sensible \u00e0 maintes perturbations comme les \u00e9ruptions solaires et tombe fr\u00e9quemment en panne. Quant Sheppard rest\u00e9 bloqu\u00e9 sur NZ 880 cela donne un bon \u00e9pisode d’Antlantis, quand mon portail tombe en rade, c’est la mouise.<\/p>\n

Sheppard dispose McKay, j’ai monsieur Parfait, mon syndic (oui mais en fait pas si parfait justement). Chacun sa croix vous me direz, McKay r\u00e2le, pleurniche, a toujours faim, mon syndic lui, n’en branle pas une. Imaginez Sheppard bloqu\u00e9 avec un Ronon \u00e9nerv\u00e9 dans un jumper sur NZ 880, attaqu\u00e9 de toutes part par des Wraiths affam\u00e9s pendant quatre semaines. Voila, c’est ce qui m’arrive. Mon portail, comme \u00e0 chaque fois qu’il tombe en panne, c’est \u00e0 dire tous les six mois, le reste pendant quatre \u00e0 six semaines. Par chance, si mon McKay est un feignant, j’ai mon Zelenka \u00e0 la base, \u00e0 savoir un contrat de maintenance avec une soci\u00e9t\u00e9 priv\u00e9e pour notre porte des \u00e9toiles. Seul hic, Sheppard doit s’adresser \u00e0 McKay pour envoyer un message \u00e0 Zelenka, et McKay s’en fou. Du coup, Sheppard pleure presque chaque jour pour savoir quand il pourra ramener\u00a0son jumper sur Atlantis pendant que McKay \u00e9labore une th\u00e9orie sur l’espace temps et que Zelenka change des ampoules grill\u00e9es sur Atlantis.<\/p>\n

Vous me direz, changes de McKay. D\u00e9j\u00e0 essay\u00e9, mais vous savez, sur Arlantis, le personnel va et vient, seuls quelques uns restent \u00e0 chaque \u00e9pisode, McKay et Sheppard en font partie. Les autres propri\u00e9taires\u00a0du grand vaisseau des anciens trouvent que notre chercheur poss\u00e8de une bonne bouille, ne co\u00fbte pas cher et surtout, eux, vivent sur Terre et se foutent royalement de savoir que je suis toujours bloqu\u00e9 sur NZ 880 alors que Ronon vient d’ouvrir la porte du jumper pour faire la peau \u00e0 ces salopards de jeun’s qui mangent des pizzas dans notre parking \u00e0 moiti\u00e9 ferm\u00e9.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Comme vous le savez certainement, un portail permet de passer d’un point A \u00e0 un point B de mani\u00e8re quasi instantan\u00e9e. Et selon le nombre de chevrons activ\u00e9s, vous pouvez aller plus ou moins loin, changer de plan\u00e8te, quitter la … Continuer la lecture →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[121,59],"tags":[305,306,303,304,302,307],"class_list":["post-708","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cinema","category-humeur","tag-mckay","tag-parfait","tag-parking","tag-portail","tag-stragate","tag-syndic"],"yoast_head":"\nStargate - Le Blog du N\u00e9oprog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.blog.neoprog.eu\/index.php\/2017\/03\/15\/stargate\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stargate - Le Blog du N\u00e9oprog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Comme vous le savez certainement, un portail permet de passer d’un point A \u00e0 un point B de mani\u00e8re quasi instantan\u00e9e. 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